True Beginnings (are after the beginning)
I looked forward to working on a Saturday. True, I was generally cautious with my hours, but the hour and a half was designed to be an intersection of existing programming and opportunity for two state initiatives built around youth leadership and youth-adult partnership. The planned hour and a half was also a space for a still newish team to to work together after weathering turnover and disappointment in initial new recruitment. I was excited for both.
As in any new program, we had successes and areas for improvement. This was expected. What I had not expected was the sense of urgency and resulting disappointment around particular areas for improvement. The unsettled feeling surprised me. It stayed with me into the afternoon. I tossed and turned a bit in bed. Eventually, I had to get up and write down some notes so that I could wipe off the emotions of the day and begin again.
It’s the beginning. The word kept popping into my head. Why so much expectation or urgency when it is only the beginning? Then, the title of this blog post popped into my head. True beginnings are after the beginning. This is what I needed to revisit as a participant and reiterate when I met with my team to debrief our experience. Though we may begin something, we very well might not have actually started. A project, a conversation, a habit. In those first beginnings, we exist mostly in our own heads, our own ideas, and the way we trace paths that we imagine we will follow. The start comes after and the start is what can get messy. When you start, everyone’s beginnings converge. However, it is not a cause for disappointment. Instead, this is where the fun begins. The cutting and pasting and asking and finding. The making.
Positive Youth Development emphasizes process. 4-H specifically focuses on the use of the experiential learning model. So why did some on my team feel disappointed in ‘less than perfect’ or failure in ‘confusion’? If you are an adult reading this blog post, that is my question to you. Revisit those feelings of frustration and failure at the beginning, because beginnings should be a time of hope and possibility. The resulting urgency we allow ourselves as the first beginning becomes the second is the accelerant that pushes us to take over and omit the learning and growing process so valuable for both our youth leaders and ourselves.
If you need a reminder of upward glances in the face of the uncertainty of supporting others, I offer excerpts of Amanda Gorman’s poem, “The Hill We Climb” and links to reminders of so many beginnings after beginnings occurring throughout Community Youth Development programming.
“When day comes we ask ourselves,
where can we find light in this never-ending shade?
The loss we carry,
a sea we must wade.
We’ve braved the belly of the beast,
We’ve learned that quiet isn’t always peace,
and the norms and notions
of what just is
isn’t always just-ice.
And yet the dawn is ours
before we knew it.
Somehow we do it.
Somehow we’ve weathered and witnessed
a nation that isn’t broken,
but simply unfinished. . .”
“And yes we are far from polished.
Far from pristine.
But that doesn’t mean we are
striving to form a union that is perfect.
We are striving to forge a union with purpose,
to compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and
conditions of man.
And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us,
but what stands before us.
We close the divide because we know, to put our future first,
we must first put our differences aside. . .”
“We lay down our arms
so we can reach out our arms
to one another.
We seek harm to none and harmony for all.
Let the globe, if nothing else, say this is true,
that even as we grieved, we grew,
that even as we hurt, we hoped,
that even as we tired, we tried,
that we’ll forever be tied together, victorious.
Not because we will never again know defeat,
but because we will never again sow division. . .”
“For while we have our eyes on the future,
history has its eyes on us.
This is the era of just redemption
we feared at its inception.
We did not feel prepared to be the heirs
of such a terrifying hour
but within it we found the power
to author a new chapter.
To offer hope and laughter to ourselves. . .”
PATHWAYS TO ACCESS COLLEGE AND EMPLOYMENT (PACE)
“When day comes we step out of the shade,
aflame and unafraid,
the new dawn blooms as we free it.
For there is always light,
if only we’re brave enough to see it.
If only we’re brave enough to be it.”
RESOURCES
During COVID-19 the length of time for the beginning after the beginning to unfold generally takes longer. Admit this and permit this, but don’t underestimate the value of action. This month the resources are action steps.
Watch the full reading of “The Hill We Climb” by Amanda Gorman https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wz4YuEvJ3y4
Teach Black History Month-all its dimensions https://www.tolerance.org/the-moment/january-28-2019-teaching-black-history-month
Take care of yourself https://www.kenoshanews.com/news/local/uw-extension-ten-well-being-tips-for-the-days-of-covid-19/article_7d132c22-9605-508a-be9f-76f9163ee31e.html
Take care of your community https://extension.wisc.edu/files/2020/06/BehavioralHealth_06-29-20-copy.pdf
